That's What She Said
by Ulquiorra-isn't-emo
Summary: The day before everyone's birthday and Iggy is bored out of his mind. How does he entertain himself? T for suggestive humor. Just read the title.


**A/N: I just finished watching an episode of the Office, so now I'm dying to tell a buzzillion "that's what she said" jokes. And I'm on February vacay, so I can't trap any of my friends into unwittingly saying something suggestive. So, here are all of my dirtiest "that's what she said" in one oneshot. It's the day before their birthdays, and the entire flock is setting up for the party.**

Iggy paced the house in boredom. There was nothing to do. Everyone else was setting up for their birthday parties the next. Max had gotten frustrated with him the tenth time he accidentally knocked over a bunch of streamers. It wasn't his fault everyone was rearranging the house! He kept bumping into relocated furniture and making things fall over. Max had gotten so fed up with him she just told him to leave or go smack into something else.

There was a thump from the next room, followed by a shriek. Judging by the weight, it was probably Gazzy who just fell off a chair and onto Nudge. There was the sound of scuffling as Nudge tried to get up.

"Gazzy, get off of me!" she whined, drawing the attention of anyone who wasn't watching in amusement before.

Iggy suddenly snickered. "That's what she said."

Max shot Iggy a glare he didn't see, and Fang cuffed his shoulder. Iggy chuckled to himself, sitting in the chair Gazzy had just tumbled from. The younger kids were giving him confused looks. Iggy guessed as much and turned away purposely, a smirk on his face. He wasn't about to explain and corrupt the innocence of these poor children.

Max resumed what she was doing after making sure Iggy wasn't going to tell the kids what his perverted joke meant. She pulled at the streamer she was hanging, trying to stretch it longer. It wasn't going to fit the entire wall. She sighed in irritation. This birthday thing was becoming more work than she bargained for.

"Fang? Can you see if there's another streamer in that box? This one isn't long enough." Max realized her mistake the moment after she said it.

Iggy burst out laughing. "That's what she said!" He grinned from ear to ear, earning another dirty look from Max. Max threw a party hat at Iggy, who caught it and threw it back with excellent precision.

Angel came into the room, holding a deflated balloon and an air pump. She held them up to Max. "Max, it's not working. The balloon won't blow up."

Max gave another exhale and stepped down from the step ladder. She took the pump and limp balloon from Angel.

"Did you put it in right? Iggy, don't you dare."

She yelled the second part just as Iggy hooted, "That's what she said!"

Max shook her head, turning away from Iggy. He was clutching his stomach, laughing. Ignoring the snorts of laughter, she tried to blow up the balloon with the pump. It got to the size of an orange, then stopped growing, no matter how many times she tried.

"See?" Angel pouted, crossing her little arms. "It doesn't get any bigger!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Iggy fell from his chair, guffawing obnoxiously.

Rolling her eyes, Max handed the offending piece of rubber back to Angel. "Just use your mouth to– "

"That's… what… she hee hee… said!" The blind pyro choked out between giggles.

"Iggy, I swear, one more 'that's what she said,' and I won't let you have any of the cake _you're _baking for us," Max stormed, standing over Iggy. His sightless eyes gave her an empty, thousand yard stare as the last of his chuckles drained away.

"Sure sure, Max. Anything you say." The crooked smile on his face said otherwise.

"Okay. Good. I'm glad we got that resolved," Max said venomously, threats dripping from every syllable. Iggy just beamed in her direction.

Gazzy tapped Max on the shoulder. "Uh, Max? There's no candles. Oh, can I make the candles? Please? Can I do it?"

Max whipped her head around to Iggy. He grinned and put his hands up. "I didn't say anything."

When Max turned back to Gazzy, Iggy muttered, "At's-thay what ee-shay said."

Max gave him another evil look. "Saying it in Pig Latin doesn't change the fact that I told you not to."

Iggy just smirked and sauntered over to the kitchen. When Max was sure he was doing something productive, she returned to her streamers. Fang was unsuccessfully trying to put up a green one by himself. Max shook her head, and stepped up to help him. Once they got it up, Max noticed the resident chatterbox hadn't done anything helpful yet.

"Nudge, go help Iggy cook. You need to get up and help out," she said, wandering over to Angel and helping the little blond girl tie her balloon.

"I don't want to," Nudge complained. "It's too hard."

A shout came from the kitchen. "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"IGGY!"

"Sorry."

Nudge groaned and got off the couch, meandering slowly to the tiny kitchen. There, she didn't do much. Iggy didn't want any assistance, so she just sat on the counter and chatted about some how many calories the cake he was making had.

Soon, Max, Fang, Gazzy and Angel had finished putting up decorations and were just milling around. Iggy called Max over to the kitchen, interrupting their tedium. Max warily entered, Fang and the younger kids trailing behind. Iggy was standing by the open fridge, holding a carton of lemonade. He handed it to her.

"Hey Max, read this for me. I want to make sure it's the right lemonade," Iggy said, a smile playing around his mouth.

Max suspiciously took container, holding it up to see the bright yellow text.

"'HourMaid Lemonade. We squeeze to please.'"

The kitchen exploded with laughter as Max's cheeks turned pink.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Fang, you idiot. Not you too."

**A/N: So much wasted "that's what she said" potential in the world around us…**


End file.
